One of the things I’ve learned since graduating from college is this: life gets really busy. The people you care about and once devoted a large chunk of time to soon become harder and harder to see and make plans with. It’s life. That’s how it is, and that’s how you lose friends as you get older. It’s not always anyone’s fault.

But another thing I learned after college life is this: prioritization. You have to choose what is important to you, which things to pursue, and which ones to sacrifice. It’s a part of growing older as you have more responsibilities heaped onto your plate.

I understand how busy life can be, but when you tell someone that you’re too busy, what you’re really saying is that you’re not prioritizing them. You’re not choosing them. They are not important to you. And all of that is okay, but dammit, be honest. Don’t act sorry if you’re not. Prioritize your life they way you want to prioritize it and don’t be apologetic about it.

Maybe you haven’t seen each other in years. You’ve drifted apart, so it’s expected that you don’t prioritize them. But when it comes to close friendships or relationships, or maybe you’re trying to make that jump into a relationship, it matters a lot. You can’t kick people to the curb and then reel them back in when it’s convenient to you. Choose to prioritize them and make the commitment, or don’t. Whichever you choose, be clear.

When you’re trying to build a relationship, you’re going nowhere with “we’ll see,” or “maybe,” or “I’m busy.” If you’re not serious about someone, then you need to tell them so they can move on with their lives and find someone who can treat them better than you currently are.

Being busy is a legitimate reason, don’t get me wrong. But keep in mind that you also have some say in how you choose to spend your time. You can prioritize it how you want. If something is important to you, then you can make the time for it – somehow, someway. No one can tell you how you should prioritize your time…it’s your call to make.

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